Today I want to talk to you about something that you may find pretty challenging. To be blunt, it’s going to mean you might need to get over yourself a little bit.

Lately I’ve been listening to the audio version of Denise Duffield-Thomas‘s Get Rich Lucky Bitch, which I’m finding very excellent (but more about that another day).

In her book, Denise talks a lot about the importance of clearing out old things that might be blocking you from receiving money, and she shared this quote that made me stop in the street:

Forgiveness is a gift quote

It’s one of those things that seems so obvious but only once it’s pointed out to you.

Who do you need to forgive?

Think about someone that you feel has wronged you — someone who lied to you, betrayed you or hurt you deeply.

Now (and this might be a bit more difficult) how long have you been hanging on to that hurt? Do you stew on it? Do you trot out the story when you’re with friends, detailing how you were wronged?

Do you use your experience as a reason to protect yourself from new friends, new dates, or new experiences?

Why forgiveness is important

Every time you dwell on how that asshole colleague belittled you (that’s mine), or how your last boyfriend cheated on you, or how Joe still owes you money, all you’re doing is making yourself feel shitty. And for what? Nothing changes, that terrible experience still happened to you.

But forgiving that person is a gift you give yourself because, once you do, you are releasing yourself from feeling awful. You no longer have to carry all those negative feelings around with you. You are freed from them and you will feel lighter and less anxious.

What forgiveness isn’t

::: It isn’t making excuses for how that person behaved.
::: It isn’t pretending you weren’t hurt, upset, angry, and that those feelings aren’t valid or important.
::: It isn’t pretending those events didn’t happen.
::: It isn’t condoning or agreeing with the way you were treated. What that other person did to you was still wrong.

Forgiveness is standing up and saying I don’t like/understand/agree with what you did but I am no longer going to carry around those negative feelings. I will not allow this to continue to make me feel bad. I am no longer wasting my energy wishing for a different outcome. I am looking forward.

Forgiveness is a simple choice, but I know it’s not always an easy one.

What will you choose?