Kids are rad. They’re curious and excited and fearless and love life. We haven’t ruined them yet with our biases and neuroses. And really, even though they don’t know they’re doing it, they live in just the best way possible.
Years ago I was at the park with my brother, who was about 4 at the time (which puts me at about 14) and he was scooting around on his bike: a mini BMX, with training wheels and a helmet that made his head seem oversized like a bobble-head doll.
Before long a couple of older kids came up on their bikes and started circling around, ostensibly just chatting but really teasing him a bit, amusing themselves at his expense. With his beautiful innocence he of course didn’t notice and chatted back quite happily. What I recall most when I remember this day is the surge of fierce loyalty I felt watching this unfold. It was so unfair that these bigger kids would pick on him like that! Still, I guess they weren’t being mean about it and he didn’t know, so maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. I’m sure he doesn’t remember it.
Anyway, after a while the kids started talking bikes, and challenged my brother to a race. He was so excited to show off his bike that he accepted this unwinnable challenge without hesitation. I remember feeling a bit sad as I watched his little legs pumping away while the bigger kids quickly cycled into the distance – of course there was no way he would win. They were doing laps of the playground area and he just kept on going, trying to catch up.
Thinking about this scene again the other day (it pops up from time to time), I realised that all this time I’d been totally missing the point. I’d been feeling bad about what happened, focusing on the mean big kids and how my brother never stood a chance.
What I didn’t notice that day was his fearless spirit – he never stopped to think that he might not beat them. Though the odds were clearly against him, he just put his head down and gave it his best shot. Even as they pulled further and further ahead he didn’t give up.
And that’s what we forget, as we get older. Doubt sneaks in, along with his mate insecurity, and tells us that we can’t do that, we don’t stand a chance. So we stop trying. Instead, we need to regroup, pull ourselves together, put our heads down and peddle furiously.
Declare to the doubters: of course I can do this! Why shouldn’t I try?
Because even if you don’t win, that declaration will give you strength and confidence, which is a much better starting place than fear and doubt.
Oh, and because I’m sure it’s been in your head since you saw the title, this is just for you.
