Like the rest of the digital world, as a year ends I always like to look back and remember what happened. And as became my way in 2018, I’m a bit late — but I got here in the end.

To describe 2017 in a nutshell would be to say it was the year that the rug was pulled out from underneath me and everything turned upside down. Thankfully 2018 in a nutshell is the year when I found my feet again.

In 2017 I started bullet journalling which I found to be the best method for me to keep track of all of the things. An unexpected benefit is that, because I jotted down everything in the monthly spreads, I can look back over my year and be reminded of all the big and little things that happened. Let’s take a look at the main themes of 2018.

The year of Friending

Whenever I’m asked what I like to do for fun or in my down time, my answer is always ‘stuff with friends.’ Drinks or dinners out, a quiet cuppa and a chat, movies, activities, weekends away and girls’ nights in. Almost all of my time out of the house is spent with friends and that’s exactly how I like it.

I’m very blessed to have a large and tight-knit group that I count as good friends (including friends I’m also related to). Some are closer than others and all are completely solid on the friend game. Many of these bonds were forged and/or strengthened following the great unpleasantness and so this year I did my best to return that support and kindness and reflect back the love I was shown.

Sure, it makes life busy. It also fills my soul, so I’m going to keep making as much time as I can to spend with excellent people going into 2019 too (with some boundaries, which I touch on later).

The year of Working

For about 3 months there I worked more than I ever have since I started my business, and I have mixed feelings about this. The competitive part of me is stoked that I set a new record for most billed hours in a week (smashed it, actually). But that is not good. I’m not a hustler, and I don’t want to be. I got to the edge of burnout more than once which meant that after the client work was done I had very little energy to do anything else (I probably also set a record for Netflix-hours watched this year, because I had nothing else left in the tank).

I was so overcommitted that it felt like I wasn’t delivering well for anybody and that I was almost constantly letting people down. People were disappointed in me (but no one could come close to the disappointment I felt in myself). I’m sure I lost clients because of it, and that still really stings. I feel like I damaged my brand by trying to take on too much, and there are definitely lessons that I’ve taken on board so I don’t have to end up there again.

It wasn’t all bad, of course. I continue to work with some incredible people whose vision, commitment, and drive inspire me all the time. I get to spend time with people I consider my friends and learn so much from them, while helping them contribute to their communities. It’s pretty freakin’ great!

And one of the harder moments also turned out to be really illuminating, when I was accused of being unprofessional and it was implied that I didn’t know what I was doing. Once the rage-cloud had cleared, I sat with that and reflected on it quite deeply, as I tend to do. Yes, there were lessons I took from that encounter, but what also emerged was an unshakeable faith in myself and my abilities. That was kinda nice 🙂

The year of Dating

The last time I was single, Tinder was just emerging as a thing and it was purely for hook ups, not dating. Plus I never really dated much during that period anyway for one reason or another. So stepping out onto the dating scene has been… well, an experience, that’s for sure!

I have a whole lot of opinions about dating apps and I won’t get my rant on here. As someone who’s fascinated by people though it’s been really interesting for me to watch how people present themselves to the world, and I often have to pull myself up for making assumptions about people based on 3 photos and a 20-word bio.

While my experiences so far mean I have some funny/cringeworthy stories (and a few weird ones), and I’ve probably wasted far too much energy trying to figure guys out, on the whole it’s been a pretty positive thing; I’ve met some really nice guys, had fun, and tried new things — so it’s not all bad.

And in 2019?

I’m not really one for making resolutions but I did spend some time reflecting on what I want 2019 to look like for me, so I have a few things to focus on.

Early in the new year I sat down and worked through this business planner from My Daily Business Coach and it was a thought-provoking exercise. I already knew I wanted my business to look different, and that I want to more actively drive it in the direction it’s heading.

(Sidenote: one of my client-friends observed that often I wait to be led, which I think was an accurate assessment — as soon as she said it it was like a light bulb went off. I’m now very conscious of changing that and being my own leader!)

As part of my business planning I chose 3 words to reflect what I want it to be this year, and I think those apply to my life more generally too. They are growth, contribution, and connection.

Growth

To me this is naming something I love to do anyway — learn, develop, and improve. This looks like reading more non-fiction (I have a shelf’s worth of great books I haven’t cracked yet!) so I have set myself a target of reading one of those per month this year. It looks like identifying habits that will support my goals and overall wellbeing and tracking them so I can see that improvement.

It looks like dedicated learning and skills improvement (mostly for my business, but we’ll see what else comes up). I’m really good at signing up for things but never following through which means I have access to a ton of resources that will help improve and grow my business. And as the saying goes, this poetry ain’t going to appreciate itself, so this year I will sit and learn things. And, more importantly, take action to apply them!

And it looks like taking time for active reflection: what’s going on? Why did that happen? What’s the lesson? How can I do better next time?

Contribution

I am, at my core, a giver. I love to help and support others as best I can (it’s what my business is built on, after all). But as a giver it’s easy to fall into the trap of giving too much, putting others’ needs before our own to our detriment and stretching ourselves far too thin trying to be all things to all people.

To me, contribution is slightly different from just giving in that it is more meaningful and more impactful. Making a contribution is making a difference in some way, and that’s what I want to focus on. For my business this means being a significant asset to my clients, not just a VA who does some stuff for them. I haven’t quite identified what that looks like outside of work yet but you can be sure I’ll let you know once I figure it out!

Connection

Connection with others is what sustains me. Although I’m an introvert, nothing nourishes me more than forging meaningful connections with others. This means continuing to strengthen and deepen my relationships, and it means going to more business events so I can connect and share with people in that world (something I used to do fairly often but that has fallen off the radar in the last couple of years).

Those are my main pillars for 2019, and there are some other bits and pieces cooking away in my mind that will support them.

 

And the key thing that will support it all: being less busy. Things got ridiculous for awhile there, and if I’m always flat out I don’t have the time or energy to do what’s important and what lights me up (like writing). So I hope this means you hear me saying no a bit more often, which will be challenging for me. But hey, without challenge we don’t grow, right?