Traditionally when we set goals we think of what we want to do (get a promotion, go to Bali), have (new car, bigger TV), or be (CEO, teacher). What if, instead, you chase how you want to feel? Because in the end, isn’t that what we’re all really chasing anyway?

The Desire Map is all about drilling into what those goals really mean and really represent — I want a BMW because it makes me feel wealthy, empowered, safe, luxurious, beautiful. I want to make $100,000 because it makes me feel secure, affluent, generous, abundant. I want to lose 10 kilos because I will feel healthy, fit, strong, sensual, vibrant.

Once you have burrowed into the feelings behind your goals, you distill them into a number of Core Desired Feelings (CDFs) which you use to determine your actions each day, week month, and so on. What can I do today to make me feel empowered? What actions this quarter will make me feel affluent?

You can listen to Danielle talk more about how she developed the Desire Map and how it all works here, and I strongly recommend you do. Danielle’s voice is almost hypnotic and the woman speaks in perfect sound bites that just make me go ‘YES!’ pretty much constantly.

It’s not about the goal, it’s about how you want to feel when you get there — Danielle LaPorte

I listened to the audiobook^ first and loved it so much I needed a hard copy so I could highlight and underline and make notes — see all my sticky notes?!

But despite really resonating with the book , I just couldn’t settle on my Core Desired Feelings. This year, I think I’ve got it. It’s important to remember these aren’t set in stone, but this is what I’m working with right now.

Accomplished

I really enjoy feeling competent and ticking things off a list, and while I’m building a business (more about that soon) it’s very important for me to stay focused and productive. If I can end each day feeling that I have accomplished something, that’s a great day. So for me this CDF is about making plans and setting intentions for the day and seeing them through. It’s also about adding to my skills and knowledge a little bit every day, so I can feel confident in my abilities.

Magic

You know how sometimes the right thing just seems to happen at the right time, as if by magic? There are always little signs and coincidences (and big ones!) This year I’m going to be more aware of and thankful for these little incidences, and feel the little zing of wonderment each time — because there are a lot out there, if you just pay attention.

Joyful

Joy is lightness. It’s positivity. It’s fun. It makes the day easier. I’m definitely amused by small things, and I used to think this was kind of looked on as a negative thing. But if something little and silly makes me giggle, that’s an uplift in my mood. So yeah, maybe I spend my day laughing at ‘dumb jokes’ and getting a bit too excited about baby animals — but it means I’m happy for most of my day and I have a pretty positive outlook. And that ain’t so bad!

Creative

For too long I’ve told everyone ‘Oh I’m just not that creative a person,’ because I’m not strong at painting and drawing and creative writing. This CDF has two parts to it: do something creative every day, and change my mindset. Firstly, by doing something creative I’m tapping in to that part of my brain or personality. With practice I’ll get better and feel more confident. And I’ll stop saying I’m no good, because words are very powerful. Even if it’s just colouring in (which isn’t just for kids!) I will do more of what makes me feel creative — even if my drawings don’t really look like they’re supposed to!

Abundant

Perceived scarcity creates fear and anxiety (which is why it’s been such an effective marketing strategy — Buy now or miss out!!) But you can’t operate well from a place of anxiety. Instead, understand that there is enough for everyone, and be open to receiving it. You have enough and you are enough.

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One of my favourite things about the Desire Map and choosing Core Desired Feelings is that it can be a powerful tool to help you make decisions. Will accepting that promotion (and all the extra hours!) align with my desire to feel more balance in my life? Hmmm, not really — thank you for the opportunity, but no thanks. 

The beginning of a new year is a great time to think about goals (or not) and evaluate what you want in the coming year. Grab yourself a copy of the Desire Map here^ and think about how YOU want to feel.

How do you want to feel this year? Let me know in the comments!

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